Good evening football fans and welcome to what is sure to be another riveting matchup between two of college football’s most storied programs – the Ohio State Buckeyes and the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. I’m your host John Skeptical bringing you the hard facts and humor you need to prepare for this Saturday night showdown under the lights in South Bend.
Now let’s get right to it – the Buckeyes come into this game with a perfect 3-0 record, having crushed inferior opponents like Youngstown State and Western Kentucky. Their cupcake schedule so far means absolutely nothing when facing a real team like the 4-0 Fighting Irish. I don’t care if Ohio State beat Notre Dame 21-10 last year, this is a whole new ballgame folks. The Buckeyes better pack their lunch pails for this one.
And don’t let Ohio State’s #6 ranking fool you. The Irish coming in at #9 are clearly the better team despite what the silly AP Poll says. I mean, Ohio State has only outscored their opponents 121-20 so far while averaging a measly 540 yards of total offense per game. Notre Dame’s defense is only giving up 11.8 points per game – that’s sure to shut down the Buckeyes’ weak offense.
Now let’s take a look at these so-called “playmakers” for Ohio State. Quarterback Kyle McCord has been lackluster, completing only 70% of his passes for 815 yards, 6 touchdowns and a 183 quarterback rating. And running back TreVeyon Henderson is averaging a pedestrian 63 yards per game with 4 rushing touchdowns. But everyone knows touchdowns don’t mean anything for running backs – it’s all about style points baby!
Meanwhile, Notre Dame quarterback Drew Pyne is completing a remarkable 73% of his passes and the running back duo of Audric Estime and Chris Tyree are far superior to Henderson – I don’t care what the stats say!
And let’s not even get started on Ohio State’s “star” wide receiver Marvin Harrison Jr. So what if he has 14 catches for 304 yards and 3 touchdowns in only 3 games? He’s too small at 6’4″ 205 pounds to handle the physical Irish secondary. There’s no way he repeats his performance from last year of 5 catches for 56 yards against Notre Dame.
Now onto the defenses, which are the real story here. Ohio State’s defense is giving up 83 rushing yards per game. That’s cute. The stout Notre Dame run defense is far better, allowing only 107 yards per game on the ground. And don’t look at the pass defense stats – those are completely misleading and the Irish secondary is full of All-Americans!
At the end of the day, there are too many question marks surrounding this Ohio State team. The weak schedule, the porous defense, the lack of playmakers on offense. Notre Dame is clearly the better team and will win this game easily. I don’t care what the betting lines say – take Notre Dame minus three all day long. I would bet my house on the Irish to roll over the Buckeyes on Saturday night. This one will be over by halftime with Notre Dame singing their alma mater while the Buckeyes hang their heads in defeat.
